Sixers boot Hip Hop, unveil new mascots, um, how ‘bout these?

HUMOR

The Philadelphia 76ers, among other teams, will open their NBA basketball season on Dec. 26 on the road.

When the Sixers finally open the season at home on Jan. 6 vs. the Detroit Pistons, a new mascot will hit the court during halftime.

Now, really, do you expect the Sixers to be that much better? A long freakin' strike, start the shortened season, make the playoffs and booted out of the first round?

Come on, now, new ownership, bring some excitement into town.

One of these guys: A  Ben Franklin dog, Ben himself, and … a moose?

Zzzzzzzzzzz. Give me a break.

So, how about these ideas to bring some excitement to the basketball court?

MAYOR NUTTER BUTTER

Philadelphia Mayor Michael Nutter has been a popular mayor for these hard times, making the difficult cut to save the city.

I present to you, with the disposed (retired) Hip Hop at a recent Halloween parade, Mayor Nutter Butter.

DUNKIN’ DONUT

Tired of seeing the Sixers get dunked on? At halftime, cart the Sixers players on the court and get dunked upon by … Dunkin’Donut!!!!

FRANKLIN THE TURTLE

Ben Franklin as a dog? OMG. How about the childrens’ character, Franklin the turtle, complete with Ben Franklin hair do.

JOE THE JUMPER

To prepare for the inevitable losses, I present to you, Joe the Jumper. Don’t jump yet. Here Joe takes a break before taking the plunge.

DJ JAZZY JEFF

Come on, this guy hasn’t worked since having a guest spot on “The Fresh Prince of Bel Air.” He could crank out fresh tunes at halftime. Hey, wait a minute, isn’t that … HIP HOP. Come guy, get over it. Collect unemployment along with former Philadelphia Mayor John Street.

Just in jest, and my mascots are no better than the Sixers, but come on, none of the new choices float my boat.

How bout you?