Rondo: the Truth Behind the Boston Celtics Secret Weapon

DATELINE: HUMOR!

  For those who always suspected that Rajon Rondo of the Boston Celtics was not quite human, the photographic evidence has been revealed.

Not since the pictures of the alien autopsy from Roswell, New Mexico, has there been such a shocking case to indicate that Rondo is, indeed, an android.

Whoever created this masterpiece of human anatomy must be commended for Rajon Rondo gives off all the reasonable logic and emotional skills of a human being. Of course, we now know the truth: he is definitely from the Outer Limits.

Robocop has nothing on Rondo.

Rondo may be D.A.R.Y.L., all grown up. The 1985 sci-fi movie provided the story of the first Data-Analysing Robot Youth Lifeform, or android.

Then came The Electric Grandmother, thanks to Ray Bradbury, the story about an android old lady who worked as a housekeeper. But, not even the great sci-fi writers knew that the NBA was already the purview of a great experiment.

Now we find the next generation ready to go out onto the NBA and conquer the league. When Rondo puts on dark glasses, he begins to remind us of The Terminator.

With his batteries now fully charged, R.O.N.D.O. is revealed as a Robot Operating Network and Data Organizer, better known as Rondo.

We still have not figured out what the acronym R.A.J.O.N. stands for, as the government has not released this information, which remains highly classified.

The photographic evidence has been leaked to the Twitterverse, and now the Celtics secret is known to all.