Holiday Cheer: Indianapolis Colts Are Coming to Town!
DATELINE: HUMOR!
Word has filtered out of the New England Patriots locker room that Bill Belichick has begun singing a famous holiday tune to motivate his players.
If Belichick sounds like Lady Gaga, it’s only because this year’s gift looks like the Radio City Music Hall Rockettes wearing tennis shoes.
With a few tweaks to song lyrics, Coach Belichick appears to be preparing the team for the inevitable visit that comes to all good teams in the NFL this holiday season.
Yes, the gift that keeps on giving up points, the Indianapolis Colts, are coming to town!
Bill has told his defensive linemen that they better watch out. They better not cry, better not pout, and he’s telling them why. The Colts without Peyton Manning are coming to town.
Out of sheer habit, Bill Belichick is making a list of players who could fall down on the job, and he’s checking it twice. A trap game like this will help Belichick determine who’s naughty and who’s a nice team player.
Bill knows who’s been sleeping on the job, and he knows how to wake up any deadheads. He knows what players are bad or good, even if he ignores statistics.
Patriots better be good for goodness’ sake! Bill has his elves like Danny, Wes, and Deion, spying on bad boys.
They better watch out, and they better not cry a single word to the media. We’re telling you why: the Colts are coming to town.
The chorus may be repeated, but the lesson is clear.
Anyone who is naughty will receive a lump of coal in his holiday stocking, given like a C.O.D. present sent to Ndanguhookingkong Suh from Commissioner Goodell.
William Russo's newest book is now out, ready for your tablet, your smartphone, your Kindle or Nook. Read RED SOX 2011: A WHIMSICAL AUTOPSY to find a month-by-month examination of the team, showing all the signs of trouble that most sports media missed. His other sports books are SEX, DRUGS, SPORTS & WHIMSY and RAJON RONDO: SUPERSTAR!
