Colts Win the Mind Game Against the Patriots
DATELINE: HUMOR!
If the NFL played games five quarters in length, the New England Patriots probably would have lost to the Indianapolis Colts.
The hapless Colts came on like gangbusters in the fourth quarter, looking like a happy-go-Andrew Lucky team.
Bill Belichick was cooking up a storm with no-name defenders who desperately were trying to locate which way the wind was blowing. Somebody bought the wrong groceries for Coach Bill.
In the meantime, in between time, the Colts were having fun with Dan Orlovsky. As Betty White once told us on the Mary Tyler Moore Show, if you overcook Veal Prince Orlovsky, he dies. That was before microwave ovens.
The Patriots won the game, not by the overwhelming line of 21 points or more, as everyone predicted, but won by the skin of their teeth.
The Patriots won by the stubby, sparse hair on the chinny-chin-chin of Danny Woodhead.
The Patriots won, despite playing Eeny, Meenie, Miny and Moe on defense.
The Colts played like a giant who might have been crying in the fourth quarter, “Fee-fi-foe-fumble…”
Yep, they smelled blood.
Sharks can smell a drop of blood in the ocean a mile away, and the Colts seemed to have found a team with defensive hemophilia out for a swim at the beach.
Bill Belichick began to look like Al Pacino when he noted in one famous movie role that any football team can win on any given Sunday.
We almost expected Cameron Diaz to walk through that door into the Belichick post-game press conference to tell him she was disappointed in her ‘Uncle’ Bill.
The Patriots defense has been bending, but not breaking, every which way. The Patriot defense has more cracked ribs than any ribbing can give.
If a team can lose psychologically (but not on the scoreboard), we saw the Colts winning their Super Bowl.
The Colts left the field with a feeling of accomplishment, and the Patriots left the field with a feeling of having to face dialysis with Bill Belichick’s evil twin, Dr. Death.
William Russo's newest book is now out, ready for your tablet, your smartphone, your Kindle or Nook. Read RED SOX 2011: A WHIMSICAL AUTOPSY to find a month-by-month examination of the team, showing all the signs of trouble that most sports media missed. His other sports books are SEX, DRUGS, SPORTS & WHIMSY and RAJON RONDO: SUPERSTAR!
