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Casting Gronk as Li’l Abner or Paul Bunyon?




Li'l Rob Gronkowski has rapidly become a figure as big as Paul Bunyon in Boston.

From spiking his touchdown catches and runs, Gronk has now taken to running along the endzone, giving high fives to the fans.

How could anyone compete with Tom Brady for a place carved into the face of some New Hampshire mountain? Gronk may be the one.

Yet, in the midst of his second season, Gronk has become the tag-team partner of choice to the Franchise of New England. Tom Brady’s favors have fallen mostly upon his little whelp of a Welker.

At a radio interview on WEEI-FM on Monday, Tom Brady noted that Gronk “always finds the silver lining in life.” 

Tom has not passed the time of day with Chad Ochocinco, but he airs it out to Gronk as often as he can.

Al Capp’s Li’l Abner Yokum, always 19 years old, was sweet, naïve, innocent, but stood only 6’3”. Bill Belichick’s Li’l Rob is 6’6”, but boys grow bigger nowadays in their own Dogpatch.

Li’l Abner worked as a mattress tester, and we know that Li’l Gronk auditioned for the job with adult film star Bibi Jones.

That action almost moved Gronk from Dogpatch to Belichick’s doghouse. But, no one can stay mad at Gronk. He is as innocent and pure in motive as one of the Knights of the Roundtable.

King Tom has found the Knight to help him find the Holy Grail at the Super Bowl. Together with Merlin Belichick, the team may yet pull a sword out of the stone.

As long as Gronk the Barbarian shows more muscles than Arnold, the team’s misadventures will have an audience of kids who love a cliffhanger and a superhero.

William Russo's newest book is now out, ready for your tablet, your smartphone, your Kindle or Nook. Read RED SOX 2011: A WHIMSICAL AUTOPSY to find a month-by-month examination of the team, showing all the signs of trouble that most sports media missed. His other sports books are SEX, DRUGS, SPORTS & WHIMSY and RAJON RONDO: SUPERSTAR!








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