Bobby V To Fly to North Pole, Meet With Santa Claus
DATELINE: HUMOR!
Bobby Valentine flew to the Dominican Republic shortly after being named Red Sox skipper. He went immediately to see DH and free agent David Ortiz at his charity golf tournament where many Boston baseball players have congregated.
The gesture touched Big Papi who wants a big contract as Sox DH to go with his advancing years. (Valentine denied reports he secretly is a birther, and some fans speculated he went to the DR to find Ortiz’s birth certificate, which is purported to show Ortiz is in excess of 70 years of age).
Reports continue to circulate that Ortiz is much older than 36. Sox brass have worried that Ortiz may want to end his contract around the same time Tim Wakefield wants to retire, in late 2026.
Ortiz runs an annual golf tournament in the Dominican Republic to help fund his noteworthy charity and foundation that assists children with medical issues. Ortiz is associated with the Mass. General Hospital in Boston.
While visiting with Ortiz, Valentine also clinked toasting glasses with a variety of superstars who had joined the Ortiz tournament.
Valentine spent over an hour, according to witnesses, with Boston mega-legend Bill Russell, soon to have his own bronze statue in Boston for his staggering career with the Boston Celtics.
Valentine questioned Russell about reports that he and Ortiz had played sandlot baseball together as kids. Russell is on record as being born in 1934.
Bobby Valentine is expected to fly to the North Pole shortly before Christmas and meet with Santa Claus after the Winter Meetings in Dallas. He will check Santa’s list of boys of summer who play baseball--and is expected to gain access into the Red Sox archives at Santa’s Workshop at its Apple computer headquarters.
While there, he will also ask Santa about how good Carmine, the Sox statistical computer, has been in recent years.
Valentine may ask Santa to bestow the biggest gift of all—World Series rings in 2012.
According to Wikipedia, Bobby V sang the famous hit tune, “All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth.”
All Bobby Valentine wants for Christmas this year is a championship team.
William Russo's newest book is now out, ready for your tablet, your smartphone, your Kindle or Nook. Read RED SOX 2011: A WHIMSICAL AUTOPSY to find a month-by-month examination of the team, showing all the signs of trouble that most sports media missed. His other sports books are SEX, DRUGS, SPORTS & WHIMSY and RAJON RONDO: SUPERSTAR!
