Rex Ryan: New Career as Thespian Awaits as He Readies for Closeup
DATELINE: HUMOR!
Not since movie character stars like S.Z. ‘Cuddles’ Sakall or even John Goodman has there been quite the big star character actor like Rex Ryan.
Fans may hope that Hollywood calls soon with a fistful of dollars and supervillain scripts, and that Ryan realizes his true calling is on the big screen. He should give up that stressful day job as a New York Jets coach in the NFL.
He could provide more entertainment playing the next James Bond villain, giving Daniel Craig a run for his Ferrari.
Ryan is making a Hollywood splash again, bigger than Fatty Arbuckle. He is acting up a storm in the new Adam Sandler movie. His thespian skills can be called remarkable as he plays both a lawyer and a New England Patriot fan.
Such method acting has not been seen since Marlon Brando stuffed his cheeks with Kleenex in The Godfather to achieve the effect that Rex Ryan gives naturally.
Ryan comes with his own personal body double for the heavy lifting parts of the role. We are sure Rob Ryan would be more than willing to do the stunts to keep his twin brother’s million dollar looks in tact.
Hollywood has lacked for generations the kind of big man like Sydney Greenstreet as the Fat Man in The Maltese Falcon.
Who could play a better Babe than Rex Ryan? We mean Ruth, of course, not the pig.
John Belushi and John Candy are gone, thought irreplaceable until Rex Ryan came to light.
From comedy to tragedy, Ryan has already shown his range in every press conference with the New York Jets.
After his debut role in the forthcoming Sandler film, Ryan is talking up his Oscar chances. Not since Barbra Streisand won her gold statuette on her first movie has there been a buzz like the one building for Rex Ryan.
We urge Rex Ryan to expand his talent and let loose the leash football places on him. Hot-foot it over to the Other Coast, Rex. Hollywood awaits you with legendary fame and fortune.
William Russo's newest book is now out, ready for your tablet, your smartphone, your Kindle or Nook. Read RED SOX 2011: A WHIMSICAL AUTOPSY to find a month-by-month examination of the team, showing all the signs of trouble that most sports media missed. His other sports books are SEX, DRUGS, SPORTS & WHIMSY and RAJON RONDO: SUPERSTAR!
