Puck You and Gronk You Very Much
DATELINE: HUMOR!
Legendary pinup boy and New England Patriots tight end and bon vivant, Rob Gronkowski cuts his teeth in the NFL by amassing a fine of $7500 for spiking the football after he scores a touchdown. He is now a repeat offender.
Gronking and spiking have become more synonymous than Patriot teammate Brandon Spikes and spiking.
Gronk went to Arizona earlier this season to learn how to gain Twitter fans and increase his Gronking reputation with a photo shootout with adult actress Bibi Jones. It now appears he need not remove his shirt to become a gronkmeister ever again.
Gronk has a long way to go to catch Chad Ochocinco in terms of Twitterverse followers, but Ocho cannot catch the ball quite like Gronk.
With twenty TDs in his young career over one and a half seasons, Gronkowski has turned heads. Fearing no fine, he continues now to absorb NFL penalties and fines while spiking the pigskin in the endzone. No pigs have been injured during his reign of terror.
Now the Worcester Sharks, an AHL team associated with the big boys in the NHL, has come upon a puckish idea that may become a cottage industry for Gronk and his Gronking bad habits.
AHL's Sharks hockey team has offered to pay the fine of $7500 for Gronk if he will come to their hockey game in the cold wilds of Worcester, Mass., and spike the hockey puck to begin the night’s skating slugfest.
Not one to pass up either a moment to build on the foundation for more Twitter followers (and pay up his NFL punishment fees), Gronk will indeed spike the puck for the Sharks.
Many guests have dropped a ceremonial puck on the ice, but few have come to conquer another sport with a trademark penalty.
Gronk is not one to drop the soap in the shower, and he is not one to drop the puck in hockey. He will indeed Gronk the puck with all the élan of a football at Gillette.
Fans are likely to pack the Worcester arena on Wednesday night. The pregame ceremony now becomes a flash event that trumps the usual atendance at a minor league game. With Gronk, the power of a star makes this a supermarket opening with puck pluck. With a Gronk, the place will be packed with followers of the latest New England folkhero.
“Gronking” may soon replace the term “spiking” as the celebratory mistreatment of balls, pucks, and curling rocks.
William Russo's newest book is now out, ready for your tablet, your smartphone, your Kindle or Nook. Read RED SOX 2011: A WHIMSICAL AUTOPSY to find a month-by-month examination of the team, showing all the signs of trouble that most sports media missed. His other sports books are SEX, DRUGS, SPORTS & WHIMSY and RAJON RONDO: SUPERSTAR!
