Post–Game Etiquette Reaches ‘S.M.D.’ Status—for Small Minded Detractors
DATELINE: HUMOR!
Controversy swirled as Bill Belichick outdid Rex Ryan at Met Life Stadium after the New England Patriots blew the socks off the New York Jets. Rex merely told a fan to go take a flying leap with unlawful carnal knowledge.
Though Ryan is often known for colorful, if not naughty metaphor, it was lip-readers across America who watched victorious bellicose Belichick, arm around his free-spirit son, mouthing off as they trotted from the field at game’s end.
Belichick’s red-flag lingo went viral on the candid cameras of NBC.
New Yorkers tried to put on a brave face as the taunt shivered their timbers. Belichick’s overbite showed more teeth than usual.
What exactly did Belichick say to raise the hackles of New York’s usually insensitive sports fans? He gave them lip service they usually must buy in Times Square.
Radio blabmeisters were unable to repeat the words because the FCC would seal their lips forever, or stuff a a big fat fine down their collective throats.
Television commentators were biting their tongues as they interpreted the sage advice a father gave his son. Suffice it to say, Coach Belichick was unimpressed with the putative best defensive team in the AFC.
It was his balderdash and flibbety-gibbet that added zip to the acronym code delivered by media members.
According to Troy Brown on a Boston radio morning show, Belichick said, in other words, to “blow my duck.” Brown apparently noted that this was vintage Belichick, like smelling the bouquet on the cork of a wine bottle.
This human, if not sexual, comment from the Man Behind the Wizard’s curtain shocked, shocked, shocked the staid, moral-minded Jets who seldom fall to their knees in supplication to anyone other than Tyrannosaurus Rex, New York's favorite carnivore.
Though we fancy ourselves men of the world, we are perplexed at the acronyms used this morning in explanation. A few claimed Bill Belichick said, “S*** M* D***.” He did not use little asterisks.
Though we have heard of LOL and ROFLMAO, we kept trying to figure out what those Sado-Masochistic Dipthongs might be. Perhaps it had something to do with having a Big D—that which the Jets seem to lack when it comes to endowment. We mean defense, of course.
As for Belichick whose mentoring of his son is now complete, he told New York radio interviewers that he always keeps his private family matters private.
Next time he should suck it up and keep private jokes off the parade ground and wean himself off poor oral choices.
William Russo's newest book is now out, ready for your tablet, your smartphone, your Kindle or Nook. Read RED SOX 2011: A WHIMSICAL AUTOPSY to find a month-by-month examination of the team, showing all the signs of trouble that most sports media missed. His other sports books are SEX, DRUGS, SPORTS & WHIMSY and RAJON RONDO: SUPERSTAR!
