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New Picture Expected Soon: The Naked Gun with Michael Vick


It shouldn’t happen to a dog, but Michael Vick has barked up the wrong tree again.

A scorned woman, allegedly a jailhouse hummingbird from the clinker days, has photos she wants to sell. Vick is purported to be a man without pocket protection.

Some more enterprising journalists wonder if a jailhouse jailbird is something akin to a transgender inmate. How and where the photo (s) in question were shot also may see the light of day when a bounty is paid for their publication.

Whether Vick is depicted in all his glory or in thumbnail mode has yet to be determined. It takes a big man to receive this sort of coverage.

If Vick decides to pay up and purchase the questionable photo, fans may begin to wonder what he has to hide. Others think he may enjoy the big splash when his likeness hits the Twitterverse.

We know the hipbone is connected to the leg bone, according to the old spiritual tune, but we haven’t yet learned whether the finger bone is connected to the head bone in Vick’s case. 

We suspect that Vick will have a bone to pick with any Internet site that decides to reveal what’s behind the Eagles uniform and before the doggy in the window.

The old spiritual tune notes that one of Adam’s old bones was used to make Miss Eve, and “dem old bones” may rise again in Photoshop.

It’s definitely a dog eat dog world, and the latest public relations fiasco with Michael Vick may merely add to his legendary status as a dirty dog.

This impending scandal makes other NFL shirtless poseurs with adult film stars in their Twitpic look like a beefcake walk in the park.

Fans of Mr. Vick are torn between their sense of outrage and their prurient interests. The photo may force Vick out of the pocket and scrambling like a streaker.


William Russo's newest book is now out, ready for your tablet, your smartphone, your Kindle or Nook. Read RED SOX 2011: A WHIMSICAL AUTOPSY to find a month-by-month examination of the team, showing all the signs of trouble that most sports media missed. His other sports books are SEX, DRUGS, SPORTS & WHIMSY and RAJON RONDO: SUPERSTAR!




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