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New England Patriots Give Kim Kardashian Run for Her Money



No matter what outlandish publicity stunt Kim Kardashian tries, she finds herself upstaged by the New England Patriots at every turn. 

The sports pages used to be a dull place of box scores and interchangeable photos of athletes in their team jersey.

Now everything is upside down, and perhaps the social media is to blame.

A Patriot player’s jersey is on an adult film star, and the athlete is a motel room where nothing happened except an innocent photo. Ask Rob Gronkowski who twittered away with babbling apologies after his six-pack abs went viral.

During a post-game night after being labeled a healthy scratch on Sunday, Patriots wide receiver Julian Edelman (whose previous fame was that Tom Brady said he looked like Justin Bieber) ended up under arrest for indecent A&B. The scratch now looks like poison ivy gone viral.

Allegedly and apparently Edelman did the Monster Mash at a Boston nightclub with an unwilling woman who quickly called the cops.

Edelman tried to protest his innocence on the way to the hoosegow.

Sports purists may wonder what rich young athletes are doing out on the town with potential career-wrecking temptations all around them.  Virile young men often need to learn about self-protection before they are allowed to cavort unleashed.

Dogs are housebroken, and so too must pro athletes be trained about newspaper headlines.

Gronkowski and Edelman have won accolades as Tom Brady’s knighted fellows, but they haven’t figured out that fame and fortune are not deodorants.

It could be worse for these Patriot bachelorettes. They could be Kim Kardashian’s boy-toy.

Another day, another knock-off, Kim Kardashian fell from front pages at the same second-rate as her husband’s scoring prowess.

Kim’s fans remain poised to do a leap of faith. They know the divorce is just another publicity stunt that will put her on top again—at least in the relationship with her bottom-boy husband.

Her own unemployed husband was the last to know she was filing for divorce. He’s usually taken out of the game faster than the media took to report on the latest development.

Is it any wonder Kim can’t keep the headlines on the sports pages?

Kris Humphries always looked like Kim’s lap dog on steroids. The news of the overhyped divorce action made Humphries smell like post-digested dog food. As the dust settles, he simply looks like a dog that has lost his bone.

Humphries for his part seems genuinely concerned that his meal ticket may be headed for cable television cancellation. How many jobs can a he-man lose in one season?

It could be worse. Humphries could be playing the New England Patriots as a tight end whose unsmiling coach is waiting impatiently for an explanation.



William Russo's newest book is now out, ready for your tablet, your smartphone, your Kindle or Nook. Read RED SOX 2011: A WHIMSICAL AUTOPSY to find a month-by-month examination of the team, showing all the signs of trouble that most sports media missed. His other sports books are SEX, DRUGS, SPORTS & WHIMSY and RAJON RONDO: SUPERSTAR!




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