NBA to Pick Scabs for Pickup Game
DATELINE: HUMOR!
We wonder how many former NBA stars, aging off the court, are willing to come out of retirement to make a few Bucks, an assortment of Lakers, and a litany of Knickerbockers.
Many NBA players retired before the big money hit the fan market.
Now NBA czar and Rasputin of the lockout, David Stern has hinted that scabs are festering over the open sores. Old players never die; they play like yesteryear was yesterday.
Yes, scabs are players who cross a picket line and play instead of the regulars. Baseball and football tried it years ago, and the blackball was used when the strike ended to void those who participated without a contract.
The union of NBA greedmongers may find even a few of their poorer players, with large divorce settlements and child support to be paid to a dozen ex-wives, may need to dribble for pennies.
We might well give a fig or two to see Magic Johnson and Michael Jordan play in the NBA for one more benighted season.
Bones may creak, and heart attacks might flood the ER in cities where the traveling circus plays. There is nothing quite like the sideshow of 7-foot behemoths overweight and underpaid, slamdunking like teenagers.
NBA Scabs may be the best idea since Jurassic Park.
For those who regard the NBA as a nightly scam on the order of Keystone Kops, the idea of aging players coming out of the cornfield to redeem themselves one more time would be a television bonanza.
If Leonard Nimoy can play Mr. Spock one more time, then Kevin McHale and Charles Barkley can play HORSE, while looking like one.
Take those television analysts out of the studio and put them in longjohns to dash about like lumbering dinosaurs from another era.
The NBA has already become a comic spectacle. Why not give the public what it craves? David Stern has put scabs on his speed dial. Stay tuned, old-timers.
Return with us now to the thrilling days of yore when basketball was black and white on your TV.
William Russo's newest book is now out, ready for your tablet, your smartphone, your Kindle or Nook. Read RED SOX 2011: A WHIMSICAL AUTOPSY to find a month-by-month examination of the team, showing all the signs of trouble that most sports media missed. His other sports books are SEX, DRUGS, SPORTS & WHIMSY and RAJON RONDO: SUPERSTAR!
