NBA Takes Felons Off Streets; NFL Puts Them in Holding Tank
DATELINE: HUMOR!
Filling out the lineup card in the NBA and NFL usually means the local police have arrested another overpaid athlete.
You will soon see his mug shot and be able to pick him out of the lineup faster than you can say, “suspended only if found guilty.”
Teams will have no further statement at this time, and ownership is gathering the facts, like Joe Friday before the Dragnet carries off their thugs and domestic abusers, all under contract.
Apologists note that, if these players were not rich and famous, we’d never know they were sentenced with probation for killing, maiming, robbing, and mayhem.
An accessory in the NFL and NBA put out a contract on them. Their product endorsements may not be the only hold up. Mugging fans on TV is only a hobby for wayward youth.
Because they can post bail and hire the most expensive mouthpiece, sports stars stomp on the justice system of the United States. The scales of justice have been traded for the punching bag of felons.
Justice is not only blind, but is also stupid. The Commissioners of NFL and NBA are complicit enablers.
The NFL has gone nearly 25 days between player arrests. Black Friday made the news again because the undefeated Green Bay Packers unpacked another alleged felon on the public.
‘Tis the season to be jolly, which apparently means losing all self-control and good judgment in the pro athlete ranks.
It’s that wonderful season of the year when pro athletes beat their wives and smoke a little weed.
Old Man River keeps rolling along, but today’s athletes who go up the river are rare birds indeed. Football and basketball thugs of choice do not tote that barge, nor lift that bale. But, they still land in jail.
Now that the NBA will start playing again, we predict that the number of assaults, batteries, domestic abuses, drunk driving, and character assassination, will drop for a few weeks.
The streets are not safer, but we will know the criminals of the NBA are at practice, working hard for their depleted millions. Case closed.
William Russo's newest book is now out, ready for your tablet, your smartphone, your Kindle or Nook. Read RED SOX 2011: A WHIMSICAL AUTOPSY to find a month-by-month examination of the team, showing all the signs of trouble that most sports media missed. His other sports books are SEX, DRUGS, SPORTS & WHIMSY and RAJON RONDO: SUPERSTAR!
