It's Not Easy Being a Sausage
The Bratwurst, the Kielbasa, the Italian Sausage, the Hot Dog, and the Chorizo - whatever the hell that is. Not only do they make us say "yum," they also provide us with entertainment. They can be seen during the bottom of the 6th-inning at all Milwaukee Brewers home games participating in the "Sausage Race." Yes, fun.. I know!
But what is it really like to be a sausage? It's a solid career! Nice work environment, good pay, great benefits, and the opportunity to grow within the company. Certainly the Chorizo is saying, "one day I'm gonna be a brat!" That said, being a sausage is not as easy as it may seem. Take a look at some of the challenges that go along with being a professional sausage:
- Purchasing a Car: I think we can all agree that buying a car is already stressful enough. Now put yourself in the shoes of a sausage. You find the car you want. You come to agreeable terms with the salesman. Now it's time for the credit application. Every question is easy until it comes to occupation. Price of new car $24,495 - Extended Warranty $1795 - the look on the salesman's face when you tell him you're a Bratwurst.. Priceless!!!
- First Date: You want to make a nice impression. You show up in a nice car, you're well groomed, and you take her to a nice restaurant. As the night progresses, you come off quite the gentleman. So far so good. What do you do for a living, "she asks?" "Uh.. I'm a Kielbasa!" Do you think you're getting a second date?
- On the Witness Stand: You witnessed a crime and get subpoenaed to testify in court as to what you saw. Easy enough, right? You are asked a few questions about yourself, one of which is your occupation. Do you believe you will continue to be recognized as a credible witness after you tell them you're a Hot Dog?
- Job Application: You've had fun running around the diamond for a living and you've decided it's time to move on. You land that all important interview and it's going well. Finally, you are asked about your previous occupation. "What was your title?" You tell them, "I was a Chorizo." Don't expect them to ask you about your salary demands!
Does being a sausage have it's perks? Yes, it certainly does! Don't forget, however, that it's not as easy as it looks. On the surface everything is just dandy, but the emotional strains can be rather extensive.
I ask you, next time you see the sausage's running around the diamond, stand and applaud. It's not easy being a sausage! If you get the opportunity, give the losers a pat on the back and tell them, "good job!"
Remember, a happy sausage is a tasty sausage!
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