Tim Tebow Wins—and Other Horrors of Literature!
The Monster has escaped from the laboratory, and no NFL team is safe.
Yes, fans, Tim Tebow has won a game against one of the worst teams in the NFL, the hapless out-of-water Dolphins.
Lightning has brought the football creature to life, and now football fans will have to endure endless sequels as the Monster will meet and beat Dracula and the lifeless folks over in Bon Temps, Louisiana.
And that means a rampage of media slaughter over at ESPN.
Already the legend of the foggy bog has combined with Dr. Frankenstein’s creation to give us the new Bigfoot of the Gridiron, Tim Tebow.
Tebow’s detractors have been sent packing faster than you can say, “Find me another body part in the cemetery.”
Fleet of foot and lumbering of gait, this creature looks like a quarterback whose hands have been attached on at the wrists with Velcro.
Like the original creature created by Mary Shelley, Tim Tebow is a literary masterpiece, thrown together by writers with bylines and radio blabmeisters with an axe to grind.
The jury may still be out on Tebow in terms of the meaning of his hubbub. However, once the fate of football settles in, we may expect that crowds of fans will soon be at the gates with pitchforks and torches, ready to throw Tebow to the werewolves.
Tim Tebow may be tilting at windmills with a victory in Miami, but he is no purveyor of the Impossible Dream. Fasten your seat belts, Bronco-busters. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.
William Russo's newest book is now out, ready for your tablet, your smartphone, your Kindle or Nook. Read RED SOX 2011: A WHIMSICAL AUTOPSY to find a month-by-month examination of the team, showing all the signs of trouble that most sports media missed. His other sports books are SEX, DRUGS, SPORTS & WHIMSY and RAJON RONDO: SUPERSTAR!
