Red Sox World Series Ring Available for 2011 Red Sox Losers
DATELINE: HUMOR!
Scott Williamson, a member of the 2004 Boston Red Sox, has decided to sell his World Series championship ring to the highest bidder.
For those with memory problems, Williamson was a minor contributor to the winning Red Sox team that year, but he was fully entitled to a ring.
The 35-year-old family man will use the proceeds to pay off family expenses, but he also claims he wants to spend some proceeds on building a baseball facility for children who live in the Indiana-Ohio area. The profit is not exactly going to charity.
A ring from the New York Mets fan favorite Lenny Dykstra brought a paltry $60,000 in 2009 before prices plummeted in the economic downturn.
Williamson’s logic is that the Sox ring has a magical quality to it because it broke the curse of the Bambino, the 86-year long drought of losing caused by the ghost of Babe Ruth.
Ruth, of course, left the Red Sox after helping them win a World Series title, moving on to become a home run king for the New York Yankees in 1920.
It is, however, Williamson’s name on the ring, not Ruth’s.
As the first Red Sox member of the team to sell out his legacy, Williamson believes he will garner more money in the short run from desperate fans.
Since the Red Sox this year engineered one of the greatest collapses in baseball history, perhaps the start of another 86 yearlong drought, we believe that members of the beer-swilling Sox starting rotation may be first in line to bid on the item.
Since soon-to-be ex-Red Sox player John Lackey may never have a ring of his own, he ought to put some of his $80million contract from the Sox on this item. For him it would be the booby prize for a big booby.
Another interested buyer may be Sox left fielder Carl Crawford whose catastrophic year may be brightened with a consolation prize like the Williamson ring.
Man-child pitcher and beer guzzler Jon Lester had his eye on the prize, lost the impetus for a pennant run after one-too-many ninth inning rally beers. The ring might get him a free beer in some redneck town where he pitches at the end of his career.
Since Sox owner John Henry recently announced he never wanted Crawford to begin with, this could wring a tear out of Henry.
Bids on the ring are subject to an Ohio sales tax, and anything charged on your credit card may incur a 2% fee. Other than that, it’s a bargain for losing Sox members of the 2011 team.
It can serve as a reminder of what might have been.
William Russo's newest book is now out, ready for your tablet, your smartphone, your Kindle or Nook. Read RED SOX 2011: A WHIMSICAL AUTOPSY to find a month-by-month examination of the team, showing all the signs of trouble that most sports media missed. His other sports books are SEX, DRUGS, SPORTS & WHIMSY and RAJON RONDO: SUPERSTAR!
