New England Patriot Rob Gronkowski Adds to the Lexicon
DATELINE: HUMOR!
Following in the illustrious footsteps of fellow teammate Brandon Spikes, Rob Gronkowski has joined forces with porn star and self-proclaimed overimbiber Bibi Jones.
G-rated photo of Bibi Jones and Rob Gronkowski
Traveling to Arizona with his brother Dan for bye week, the Patriots hotshot shot his reputation in the foot. He found fellow townsman Bibi and spent his weekend prepping for the sex-pounder contest.
Her tweets indicate she has been “Gronked.” She recommends the Patriot tight end.
The term is likely to take on a viral life of its own, and there is no test for this—except perhaps Youtube video versions. We can only hope she secretly taped him.
Gronk you? This may be the only example of a four-letter word being replaced by a five-letter word. Yes, if you are a lucky guy, you may have been gronked by the most beautiful mother-gronker in the world.
The word “Gronk” may start showing up on men’s room walls with the Patriots logo.
Miss Jones has a habit of gronking a dozen times a day—even when she is not working.
She has appeared on the Howard Stern radio show, not known for shrinking violets with gronking habits.
Players may “Spike the ball,” but the Patriots will now “Gronk the ball,” when they hit pay dirt in the endzone or in the bedroom.
Photos posted by Bibi show her in Gronk’s Patriot jersey, and Rob was in his flesh, a fine specimen of human pulchritude.
Rob already known for the dim bulb winner on the Patriots may now become the pinup boy of star-gronkers everywhere of every gender.
William Russo's newest book is now out, ready for your tablet, your smartphone, your Kindle or Nook. Read RED SOX 2011: A WHIMSICAL AUTOPSY to find a month-by-month examination of the team, showing all the signs of trouble that most sports media missed. His other sports books are SEX, DRUGS, SPORTS & WHIMSY and RAJON RONDO: SUPERSTAR!