Throwing Stones From the Friendzone

Let me start this off by making myself perfectly clear. This will not be an article bashing women for being superficial. Hopefully, this article will expose some of the hypocrisy and unrealistic expectations of today's average American male.

I'm guessing we've all heard of the friend zone. It's been a plot point in popular television shows and there was even a movie about it.

But for those of you not in the know, the friend zone is when a guy wants a romantic relationship with a girl who only wants a platonic relationship with him. I believe the reverse of this is called the bro-zone. I don't know if there is a term for gays and lesbians.

It's a concept that has been around for a while. Ever since movies about nerds trying to impress cheerleaders became financial hits, Hollywood has churned out tons of these wish fulfillment flicks. Our nerdy hero must jump through hoops and bypass the jocks to win the affection of the gorgeous blonde. He learns about self confidence, she learns about inner beauty, end credits over kiss.

But instead of analyzing the films, I want to take a look at how the films have impacted the male view of relationships and women. This is not at all scientific, merely based on personal experience and observations. 

The point of watching a movie is to be entertained. But sometimes we identify so much with the main character and their struggle that we forget that we are watching a work of fiction. Sometimes the geek doesn’t get the girl no matter how hard he tries. But instead of accepting that as a fact of life and moving on, I see that some guys have turned bitter and resentful towards women.

                                                                                                   

I’m not trying to say that rejection doesn’t suck because I know it does. I know what it’s like to have strong feelings for a girl. Not just sexual feelings, but strong emotional ones. You were having the worst day ever but then it all turned around because she smiled at you in the hallway. You wish you could spend the whole day talking to her; she’s everything you ever wanted in a girl. And when you finally work up the courage to tell her how you feel and she rejects you, the pain is almost indescribable. You try to come up with a reason to explain the pain, to rationalize it. You didn’t do anything wrong, you told her how you felt. The movies said that as long as you were true to yourself and told her how you felt then she would love you back. Well somebody lied. But Hollywood gave you the ending that you liked…so this is all her fault.  She’s a shallow bitch who only likes jerks and hates nice guys.

                                                                                                                 

Wrong.

It’s not her fault, it’s not your fault; it’s just life. Blaming the girl for not liking you is not going to change anything. It’s only going to make you bitter and unpleasant. She didn’t ask for you to fall for her, it just happened. Sometimes a smile in the hallway is just a smile no matter how special it made you feel. And her desire to remain friends is not a torture designed to punish you, she’s just not that into you.

And believe it or not, you’ve probably done the same thing to someone else. Look guys, whether you choose to believe me or not, I guarantee that some girl had a huge crush on you in high school. Some girl is probably madly in love with you right now. She’s always really excited to see you and pays close attention to what you say. She even laughs at your lame jokes. Yeah, that girl! So why don’t you ask her out?

Because she’s heavy? Because she has bad skin? Because she’s flat? Because she’s not her? Well then you are just a shallow bitch who only likes jerks and hates nice girls. (role reversal is a bitch aint it?) If you can’t find the inner beauty in the girl who loves you then why should the girl you love look for it in you?

Yeah, think about it.

But it’s always easier to give advice than it is to take it. I’m still trying to find a girl who fits my beauty standards while ignoring the girls who might actually like me. I’m shallow, I can admit it. But I’m not angry when a girl rejects me, I move on. Because the world is filled with beautiful women and maybe, just maybe, I can find one who likes me. But it is up to me to find her.

If there is one thing I want you to take away from all this it is that you have the power to change your outlook on life. If the object of your desires doesn’t like you, then forget about her and go find someone else. You can’t wait around hoping that she’ll change her mind about you. What if she keeps going out with other guys instead of you?  Do you really want to put yourself through that much grief? Let her go, look through all her facebook photos and cry, and open your heart to new people. Who knows, maybe you’ll find a girl whose been bro-zoned her whole life and you two will live happily ever after.