Big Trouble In Little Minnesota

I once dated a girl from Wisconsin. Well, actually, she was from Wisconsin, but she told everyone she was from Minnesota because she was embarrassed by her rural Sconnie roots. Oh what a difference a decade can make!

Now, hailing from Minnesota will get you all sorts of snickers and sneers. From the incoherent and elementary mumblings of a psychopath with presidential aspirations to a defunct state government that thinks it should get paid even though it's not doing any work, the North Star State is looking more and more like the Land of 10,000 Gaffes.

And that's not even including the moribund Twins!

Believe me, I'm just as shocked as you. Traditionally, the Twins do everything right. They see the ball. They catch the ball. They use two hands. From top to bottom, they are the most fundamentally sound franchise in the Big Leagues, which is why they've been able to find success despite having a not-so-star studded roster.

But they let their 2010 bullpen of bad@sses go. When he plays, Joe Mauer has been... er... um... not Joe Mauer. And between getting his bell rung and having an uncooperative neck, 2006 MVP Justin Morneau has been about as fearsome as a Keenan Cahill video.

Of course, even a stopped clock is right twice a day, which is why the Twins will always be happy to destroy the White Sox.

Unfortunately, that won't be enough for the Twins to make any noise in the AL Central. I know the Mike Francescas and Harold Reynolds of the world still have faith, but those people are stupid. The Twins are done.

I can only hope the same is true for Bachmann and the tepid taxpayers of her dejected state. Hate me. Just don't hate me 'cuz I'm right.

Peace,

Jeff