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Will You Help the Poor NFL Players?

Sally-struthers-african-children Since September 11, 2001, Americans have come together as never before in our generation.  We have banded together to overcome adversity.  We have weathered direct attacks on our own soil, wars overseas, corporate/government scandal, layoffs, unemployment, stock price plunges, droughts, fires, mad cow, SARS, high gasoline prices, and a myriad of economic and physical disasters both great and small.

But now, we must come together once again to overcome one of our greatest challenges yet.

Hundreds of Professional Football players in our very own nation are

going to be locked out, living below their seven-figure salary level.

And as if that weren't bad enough they could be deprived of their life

sustaining pay for several months, possibly longer, as a result of the

upcoming lockout situation. But you can help!


For only $27,080 a month, about $902.75 a day (that's less than the

cost of a large screen projection TV) you can help an NFL player remain

economically viable during his time of need. This contribution by no means solves the

problem as it barely covers the annual minimum salary, but it's a start, and every little bit will help!


Although $900 may not seem like a lot of money to you, to a football

player it could mean the difference between spending the lockout golfing in

Florida or on a Mediterranean cruise.  For you, nine hundred dollars is nothing

more, than a month's rent, a mortgage payment, or a month of medical

insurance, but to a football player, $900 will partially replace his daily salary.


Your commitment of less than $900 a day will enable a player to buy that

home entertainment center, trade in the year-old Lexus for a new

Ferrari, or enjoy a weekend in Rio.




Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the player

you sponsor.  Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, 401(k), real

estate, and other investment holdings will be mailed to your home. Plus, upon

signing up for this program, you will receive an unsigned photo of the

player lounging during the lockout on a beach somewhere in the Caribbean

(for a signed photo, please include an additional $150).  Put the photo

on your refrigerator to remind you of other peoples' suffering.




Your NFL player will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just

wants to help in a time of need. Although the player won't know your name, he

will be able to make collect calls to your home via a special operator in case

additional funds are needed for unforeseen expenses.


Remember, a lifestyle is a horrible thing to waste...





I would like to sponsor a locked out NFL player. My preference is (check



[ ] Offense  [ ] Defense  [ ] Special Teams  [ ] Entire team


Please charge the account listed below $902.75 per day for the duration

of the lockout.  Please send me a picture of the player and my very own

Roger Goodell (NFL Commissioner) pin to wear proudly on my hat (include $80

for hat).


  Your Name: ____________________Telephone Number: ___________________

  Account Number: __________________Exp.Date:_______


  [ ] MasterCard  [ ] Visa  [ ] American Express  [ ] Other


  Signature: _______________________


  Alternate card (when the primary card exceeds its credit limit):

  Account Number: _______________________ Exp.Date:_______

  [ ] MasterCard  [ ] Visa  [ ] American Express  [ ] Other


  Signature: ______________________



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This HAS TO BE A JOKE LOL. There is no way anybody would go through this would they?

DUH, you think not?

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