Former Celtic Nate Robinson in White Plains Embarrassment
DATELINE: HUMOR!
The world of basketball is atwitter with the outpouring of amusement over Nate Robinson’s malfeasance in public.
Showing utter disrespect for readers across America, Nate was pulled over and out by police who spotted him improperly using a fire hydrant near a Barnes and Noble bookstore. He was caught red handed.
At approximately 2am, after last call, Nate was compelled to go with the flow. He now faces a $50 fine for public urination.
The last time we saw Nate Robinson standing on a street corner in Boston he was holding his mirth while dressed in a Santa Claus suit for the holidays.
Back then he was full of good cheer, but didn’t pause near any hydrants.
Alas, the Twitterverse is now under the gun for bad jokes and puns that make this writer blush.
Tweets have lampooned tiny Nate for being another Weiner in the Empire State. New York’s media has provided a stream of yellow journalism, running the gamut, from calling him a whiz kid to indicating that Nate had primed the pump for greatness.
Notorious website Deadspin has called him “a Wee Man in more ways than one.” Others said he has made quite a splash at the White Plains City Center.
The usually extroverted and loquacious Nate has yet to issue a tweet in his own defense, though he often provides a stream of steady information to fans.
Fans may wonder what could cause such a display when heavy rains had already drenched the streets earlier in the evening, making evidence of the offense hard to follow.
For some odd reason the unzipped behavior of Robinson has been dubbed “hilarious” by more than a few Thunder followers.
If this incident has revealed any shortcoming about little Nate, it is his poor judgment in the face of a natural disaster. How you respond to an urge for going often depends on Depends.
We now must add this torrent of shame to the long litany of dastardly deeds of NBA players. We expect that David Stern will likely line up a group of his star players at a Staples Center men’s room before next season.
There the assembled multitude will provide fans with an “NBA Cares” spot about sanitation, an important public service announcement at long last unzipped.
The lesson may leave us flushed: Just because your pants are already half down to your knees is no excuse for skipping the urinal.
Alas, poor Nate, his basketball legacy may now be a golden shower, rather than a slam-dunk.
William Russo tries to find humor in sports, which is not always easy. To see the results of his quest, you may want to read SEX, DRUGS, SPORTS & WHIMSY, now in its second volume. The work of Russo is available in print form and e-book.
