Boston Celtics Halloween Costumes Predicted the Future!

DATELINE: HUMOR!

 

Who would have guessed that those choices for the Halloween party for the Boston Celtics would have been more reliable forecasts of the future than the Mayan calendar? 

For those with short memories, way back in October when the Celtics were riding high, ready to win banner #18, the team posed in some fairly creative costumes at a team party. 

Now it appears that the selection of wardrobe had a much more sinister implications. No, it does not mean an asteroid was to hit the Celtics, but a Heat wave surely did.

Let us reprise those costumes and what the augurs of the gods indicated way back when we were all smiling, unaware of the horrible fate that would befall our beloved team and its key players.

At Halloween people are supposed to dress up in costumes that are nothing like their real selves. But, truth is stranger than fiction once again.

Rajon Rondo, the man of paragon virtue, dressed up inexplicably as Tiger Woods, in the traditional red polo shirt and cap we have grown accustomed to see on Tiger.

Rondo added a bizarre sling for his elbow to rest. Few could understand the implications back then. Of course, the dislocated elbow in the playoffs proved how sentient the Celtics point guard was.

Kevin Garnett seemed to tempt the Fates when he dressed up like the Great Jinn, Kazaam, trapped in a boombox. It was the worst movie Shaq ever made, and KG was no Barbara Eden. If KG rubbed the boombox after wearing this costume, he clearly wound up facing another dark tale of the Arabian nights.

Paul Pierce knows how difficult it is to be green, and he wore a frog costume. Perhaps he waited for the kiss to turn him into a prince, but alas, when the playoffs came to a premature end for the Green team, Paul was still a frog.

Ray Allen, wearing an Afro wig that Michael Jackson discarded in 1981, beat it out of the playoffs all too early. Dressed in a tuxedo more suitable to Count Dracula, Ray would moonwalk out of the last big dance.

Jermaine O’Neal dressed up Mr. T, but even Jermaine’s A-Team playing couldn’t change the fact that Rocky LeBron beat up Mr. T to retain his championship. And, Delonte West, try as he might, still looked slightly demonic behind a full-face mask that could not fool LeBron.

And last, our beloved giant, Shaquille O’Neal went out in a dress, doing his best karaoke imitation of Beyonce, while wearing a simple strand of pearls and falsies. Shaquita proved to be more than an evil twin. Could Shaq’s Achilles tendon problem have arisen from wearing spiked high heels?

Next Halloween, we suggest that the Celtics go dressed as the 1962 Mets. Maybe that will be a good omen.

 

If you enjoy the odd humor of William Russo, you should check out SEX, DRUGS, SPORTS & WHIMSY, volumes 1 and 2. Volume 3 is in the pipeline. E-books are availabe at amazon.com.