The Terminator or The Tiger? Deadly Sin Does in the Athlete Hero--Again!
DATELINE: HUMOR
Former body builder and sometime athletic beauty contest winner, Arnold Schwarzenegger has now knocked Tiger Woods off the front page of athletes gone to seed.
Though the Terminator has a reputation of bedding down with an infinite number of damsels in distress, Tiger manages to hold on to the King of the Jungle title with his endless stream of semi-beautiful women in poses of assignation.
We give Maria Shriver credit for not bopping Arnold on the head with one of his own dumbbells, but give extra credit to Tiger’s betrayed spouse for clocking him off the noggin with a golf club. She may have wished she could have gotten her hands on a tire iron rather than a 7-iron.
Arnold prefers to bench press women under 150 pounds, while Tiger prefers multiple reps for improving his game.
We feel that these bad boys are mere amateurs in history when the legendary Wilt Chamberlain’s name rises to the occasion. Wilt pole-vaulted over 10,000 beds, or perhaps some were sofas or even an ottoman.
Today’s sport of infidelity pales next to the historical records, though the wake of pain left is seen for a generation.
Many fans will disdain the notion that extra-curricular leaps and hops are relevant to the sportsmanship of star athletes. Others ask why, and a few ask why not.
Shall we measure our sports heroes by their deadly sins or their lack of virtue?
Lust compares to lacking faith, charity, moderation, prudence, and perhaps even gluttony if we tally in the pig quotient.
What we are really talking about with sexual marathon runners like Arnold and Tiger is the hubris of pride. Yes, old deadly pride. No, we do not mean the pride of lions, which is a male lion’s harem, but the pride of Lucifer who couldn’t abide paradise unless he was unbridled.
Brides cast aside, Tiger and Arnold seem to have reached the semi-accepted position that they are more important than any standard of honor, more important than any other human being, and more important than the world they socialize within.
Therein is the rub.
William Russo writes humorous essays and collections are available in print and on e-book format. You may find his works like SEX, DRUGS, SPORTS & WHIMSY, volumes 1 and 2, as well as RAJON RONDO: SUPERSTAR, on amazon.com. Download to smartphone, computer, or Kindle. Your choice!
