LeBron James and Delonte West: No Hard Feelings at the Playoffs!
DATELINE: HUMOR!
When the two former Cleveland Cavaliers meet on the basketball court, fans may hold their collective breath.
What will happen? Though we would enjoy seeing them bump chests, or exchange kisses of fists, we suspect that the mob buffers on the Boston Celtics and Miami Heat shall take charge.
We also suspect Delonte West and LeBron James will not be going out for dinner to have a Chinese meal after the game.
These men are professionals, and a change of team jerseys will be as normal as changing their protective leg hose to prevent those pesky groin pulls.
We expect Shaquille O’Neal will overwhelm the picture when the three old Cavaliers pose for a memento photo for the tabloids. Smile, boys! It’s for posterity. The 600-pound gorilla will not be in evidence, though one can always expect the unexpected in the NBA.
Commentators and color analysts will tiptoe around the matchup with all the finesse of a match date service.
Fans may expect a flagrant foul or two with the intensity of the rivalry, but basketball in the playoffs is a game of chess between gentlemen. Those seeking sensation may be advised to turn to mixed martial arts where that sort of thing is tolerated.
Virtue will triumph when the Boston Celtics and Miami Heat play each other. Deadly sins will be sent packing to the nearest roach motel where millionaire ballplayers never check in.
Fans who expect LeBron to dope slap Delonte with white gloves and throw down the gauntlet, echoing a world that disappeared with the invention of the automatic weapon, will be sadly disappointed.
However, if you love subplots, your time is near. Pull up a chair. The playoff non-story is about to hit you where you live in 3-D on HDTV.
(This article appeared previously on Bleacher Report, but no one noticed).
William Russo writes humor about bad sports. His latest e-book is RAJON RONDO: SUPERSTAR! which puts Rondo in the pantheon of literary and mythological figures.
Now available on amazon.com.
