Celtics, Celtics Everywhere, but Not One in Green

DATELINE: HUMOR!  

Former Celtics players pollinate nearly all the playoff teams in the NBA, bringing the luck of the Celtics to new places.

Thanks should go to Danny Ainge.  Players he left in the gutter as road-kill have been resurrected. The roar of the crowd and the thrill of the prime time television coverage provide the Celtics castoffs with new life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness.

Diehard Celtics fans are left in Beantown, watching Shannon Allen cooking up meals for her mother-in-law and Amber Rondo, Rajon’s mother, on a Boston sports network's coverage of Celtics.

Five ex-Celtics, divorced from Ainge unceremoniously, are cooking up their own winning menu.

Not only will the discarded Ainge rejects win some extra money from playoffs, but they have increased chances of pursuing happiness more than with the Big Three, who now start to look like the green version of Jurassic Park.

Who would have guessed that Danny was giving his discarded players a United States Constitutional guarantee?

Declared independent of the Celtics, the roll call of recognizable faces may make some fans wince, and others will feel some satisfaction that these one-time Celtic workers have not toiled in vain.

Aiding and abetting the Big Heatles Three, Eddie House has found a home that may be mortgage-free in Miami. The little House on the Boston Common is now next to the big McMansion built by LeBron.

Brian Scalabrine may at last find D-Rose smelling as sweet as a leprechaun’s pot of gold, next to the stockyards of Chicago.

Tony Allen, grizzled now, made a run at stardom with a new venue, and he will return. Neither hell, nor floodwater, will stop Memphis next season.

Nate Robinson now makes commercials for energy drinks, as the sidekick who bumps around Kevin Durant in Oklahoma. No longer is he wearing Shaquille O’Neal’s castoff clothes.

And, last, but no means least, Kendrick Perkins is all smiles as he has found another Squiggy to play to his Lenny. Yes, the savage breast of Kendrick may be quieted by success along side the spiritual peace that Kevin Durant offers. So long, Rondo!

With bittersweet irony, Celtics fans can watch 33% of the Boston Celtics scramble onward to their destiny, thanks to the foresight and generosity of Danny Ainge.

 

 

William Russo panders to those who like sports skewed on the barbeque. For some of the players and teams he has made toast, read RAJON RONDO: SUPERSTAR! and SEX, DRUGS, SPORTS & WHIMSY, volume 1 and volume 2.