2011... the year in review....
Is it a little too early to look back on 2011? Me thinks not. This is the first year since I was young that Brett Favre hasn't played a football game, and won't. Da Bears are in the playoffs, which is nice to see. And the Patriots once again appear to be the team to beat in the NFL. So what's the most interesting thing that has happened thus far? Easy. The coaching carousel in the NFL is turning faster than my favorite whore on nickel beer night. Hold on tight or you will get thrown off. My only question is; Who the hell are they going to get to replace all these guys? Are they really gonna bring back all of the old guard to replace them? With the exception of Bill Cowher, weren't they all fired for not doing the job? Thus I propose that we put a moratorium on hiring, much like the Rooney Rule, except that it won't be racially based. Can we make these teams hire someone that's qualified? I love Mike Singletary, but why did he fail? Because he'd never had even a co-coordinators position, that's why. Now the hot prospect is Jim Harbaugh, Stanford coach. So once again we're to believe that a college coach will make the jump successfully. Maybe, but there's a reason we have the expression "History repeats itself", because it does. Just like if you give a bunch of Germans too much sour kraut and weapons, they'll start invading countries, a wonder boy from the NCAA will fall on his face. Therefore, we should all just sit back and start playing "Fantasy Football, Coaches Edition". You get 6 points for every year they last, with an extra 2 if they make it last on the hot seat. The easy first overall pick is NY Giants coach Tom Coughlin. This guy has more lives than Cher. And in a quirk of fate, I hear that he was going to be her original side kick until he shaved his moustache on a peyote binge and was replaced by the far less talented but more lovable Sonny Bono. So to all the coaches who have or will receive their walking papers, don't sweat it. Just wait 15 to 20 minutes and you'll get another shot. Except you Coach Singletary. You need to become an assistant for Da Bears. You need to go home. What? Are you too good for your home??? Happy New Year, I hope I've cleared up this one for you.
