Getting My Rocks Off

Rockies NLDS Diary (Part Two): Vengeance Sweet for the Underdogs

I’ll set the stage for you: The Colorado Rockies are taking on the Philadelphia Phillies in Game Two of the NLDS. The team was scorched yesterday by a nearly unhittable Cliff Lee.

If the Rockies stand any chance of winning the series, beating Cole Hamels in this game is crucial. I am not optimistic, even if I say I am.

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11:26 a.m. — I’m back at Tom’s and bidding farewell to memories of yesterday’s Cliff Lee debacle. I’m thinking happy thoughts.

Cole Hamels is hittable today. I can feel his negative energy from 1,700 miles away. Also, Jason Werth makes me extremely nervous.

11:39 a.m. — Top 1st — That’s a lead—off single for Carlos Gonzalez followed by a second pitch stolen base. I love what he brings to this team.

11:43 a.m. — Top 1st — 1-0 Rockies Lead. Gonzo did that all by himself. We’ll call that a 1—0 Carlos Gonzalez lead.

11:55 a.m. — Bottom 1st — Ryan Howard just made my testicles suck up into my stomach missing a two—run jack by roughly 46 inches.

11:57 a.m. — Bottom 1st — Called strike three on Howard. My balls just got revenge on Ryan Howard’s balls. Got him good.

12:07 p.m. — Top 2nd — The waitress just delivered my double cheeseburger, dripping with four slices of cheese, three strips of bacon and a fried egg at the same moment Ryan Spilborghs struck out swinging on a pitch he should never have even considered. I’m having a case of mixed emotions.

12:09 p.m. — Top 2nd — My cheeseburger is for real—almost seven inches tall at its peak. I can feel the heartburn creeping up from my small intestine already.

12:19 p.m. — Top 3rd — Aaron Cook is at the plate making jokes with the umpire. When your starting pitcher is getting his laughter on with the home plate umpire, things are looking up for you.

12:30pm — Top 3rd — Jim Tracy has his microphone on. He’s making excuses for Dexter Fowler. Chalk that up on the list of today’s red flags.

12:57pm — Top 4th — And that’s a two-run bomb from Yorvit Torrealba. Sorry I judged you, Bud. You belong here. Really, my apologies. Rockies lead 3—0.

1:05pm — Top 5th — It’s nice to see Cookie swinging for the fences. You have to love a guy who’ll do everything he can to win a game.

1:06pm — Top 5th — Opposite-field single for Cookie. Plus two points.

1:08pm — Top 5th — Carlos Gonzalez is the fire in the loins of this team. That was another wildly aggressive baserunning mistake by Gonzo, but you know what, this kid just wins baseball games. Check out the team’s record since he came up. It’s out of this world.

I’m falling in love right now.

1:17pm — End 5th — My roommate just astutely pointed out that Cole Hamels looks very much like a Wii character. The resemblance is uncanny except for one detail. Wii characters don’t pout like that, not even when they’re playing like Cole Hamels is today. The guy looks distraught, a broken metrosexual man-child.

1:31pm — Mid 6th — Just watched an avocado commercial. That’s just proof one more time that there are things in this world I have yet to experience. What’s next, world? What else do you have for me?

1:36pm — Bottom 6th — Our table is tense right now. It’s runners on first and third with Ryan Howard up and Jose Contreras working in the bullpen.

I believe in my team, but it’s moments like this that really test a man’s faith.

1:39pm — Bottom 6th — Ryan Howard doubles to make it 4-1. That one is hard to stomach. There are lots of four-letter words flashing through my brain right now.

1:41pm — Bottom 6th — And here’s Contreras! Jason Werth is up. Everyone remembers what I said about him earlier...

I need someone to help calm me down right now.

1:44pm — Bottom 6th — Contreras struck out Werth, then gave up a two-run single to Raul Ibanez.

I think Ibanez’ enormous skull makes him look a little bit like an alien. Have a little of that, Rauuuul.

1:54pm — Top 7th — We barely escaped the inning and are now facing J.A. Happ. By process of elimination, that leaves Pedro Martinez to start Game Three.

I couldn’t be more tickled with that news. You can’t win a game on wild, crazed intensity alone, you just can’t. That’s not to say Pedro’s not going to give it a shot.

1:59pm — Top 7th — Seth Smith just launched a line drive into J.A. Happ’s kneecap. That’s cold, Seth Smith.

Way to play with fire in your heart, Seth. Happ is bidding “au revoir” to this baseball game. I am pleased to see him go, though I hope his knee feels better after the series is over.

2:09pm — Mid 7th — We tacked on an extra run on a Dexter Fowler sac fly making the score 5-3.

As it turns out, Hamels is going to be a dad today. Congrats, Cole. I’m happy for you.

2:37pm — Top 8th — Jason Giambi is up with the bases loaded. I swear, Giambi looks like a super villain disguised as a baseball player.

The Fu Manchu is a great touch. Even his bases loaded strikeout can’t take away my joy from seeing him at the plate. The comedic timing is amazing with him. He’s got something special going.

2:47pm — Bottom 8th — Jason Werth homered to bring the Phillies within one. Nice to see Werth making me look so smart. It’s a really unfortunate consolation prize though. I would have preferred a strikeout there.

3:00pm — Bottom 9th — I’m worried moving onto the final frame. I believe in Huston Street, but I have my doubts. This isn’t fun anymore.

3:03pm — Bottom 9th — I’m not worried anymore. TBS just showed another avocado promo. These guys really know how to lighten the mood.

3:06pm — Bottom 9th — One down. Feeling relaxed and wonderful.

3:13pm — Bottom 9th — I’m anxious as all hell. The announcer just said the words, “danger lurks.” Woah. I feel that, TBS announcer. I feel that.

Here comes Jimmy Rollins. Danger lurks.

3:15pm — Bottom 9th — Two on, two out with Victorino up...

3:18pm — Bottom 9th — Rockies win! Victorino hits a sharp liner to second to end the game. I am mentally fatigued, emotionally shot, physically bloated and still have to go back to work. What a day.

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With the series tied at a game apiece, the Rockies and Phillies will move to Denver, where the temperatures may hover around freezing for the next two games.

Bring it on, Pedro. We’re ready for you, Papa Bear. We got your number. I feel it.

 

Rockies NLDS Diary (Part One): How It Feels to Lose to Cliff Lee

It’s 11:20 am and I have just left work three hours early to watch the Colorado Rockies face off against Cliff Lee and the Philadelphia Phillies in game one of the NLDS.

 

My hopes are running high, though I will soon find out, not for good reason.  

 

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11:31am – I have just arrived at Tom’s Sports Bar in Portland, Oregon. Sitting down in my chosen booth, I realize I have forgotten my playoff bat, an object that literally carried the Rockies to their 2007 World Series berth.

 

I text one of my roommates to ask him to bring it along. He is reluctant since we are all pretty sure that bringing a baseball bat (especially one nicknamed “El Chivo Jr.”) into a bar is blatantly illegal.

 

I convince him how important this is and he tosses my bat into his car.

 

11:34am – I am terrified of Cliff Lee. Thanks a lot, Cleveland Indians management team, for doing everything you could to ruin my team’s season, too.

 

11:37am – Yup. That’s me… skipping out on work and sitting alone in a Portland bar literally shaking with anticipation over a baseball game. My parents and girlfriend would be proud.

 

11:37am – Top 1^st - And we’re off…

 

11:44am – Top 1^st - Infield single for Tulo. You can’t stop him. You just can’t.

 

In other news, there’s only one other person in this bar and he just so happens to be a Rockies fan. What are the chances? In the Northwest, they’re close to nothing.

 

11:53am – Bottom 1^st - I don’t want to jinx it, but Jimenez looks sharp today. For the record, though, I’m saying we lose this game 5-2 despite seven solid innings from ‘Baldo – just so no one thinks I’m one of those ridiculously unrealistic homer fans.

 

12:03pm – Bottom 2^nd - Ubaldo Jimenez is a grenade dropper. The off speed stuff to Chase Utley is insulting.

 

12:06pm – Bottom 2^nd - My roommates just joined me at the bar. Two minutes later, they want to leave. I guess I am embarrassing myself. Sorry roommates.

 

12:34pm – Bottom 4^th – Thanks for playing, Chase Utley. You just got your legs blown off by another Jimenz grenade. Boom.

 

12:44pm – Middle 5^th – I decided it’s time to score some runs. Every inning that passes brings us closer to Joe Biemel and Franklin Morales. I really don’t want to rely on those guys to pull us out in this game.

 

12:51pm – Bottom 5^th – 1-0 Phillies Lead. Jimenez lost his concentration and let the Phillies on the board. Torrealba needs to go out to the mound and have a few words.

 

12:53pm – Bottom 5^th – The words didn’t work. Maybe a cold shower? Smelling salts? Electro-shock therapy? Just throw the ball over the plate, Ubaldo. Do it.

 

12:59pm – Bottom 5^th – 2-0 Phillies Lead. Brad Hawpe also needs electro-shock therapy. Way to play like you belong here, Brad. Nothing like overrunning an obvious single to show everybody how excited you are about the playoffs.

 

1:05pm – End 5^th – Tough inning. The wind has been blown from my sails. I need a leadoff single to pump me back up.

 

1:09pm – Top 6^th – Following a four-pitch strikeout to a pitcher who should have been taken out of the game, I’m still not pumped.

 

1:11pm – Mid 6^th – 14 outs in a row for Cliff Lee. That’s not going to get it done, Rockies lineup.

 

1:14pm – Mid 6^th – I looked up my life expectancy on Google. Looks like I only have 43 years left. Though irrelevant to the current article, I thought I should share. We’re all on the great countdown anyway.

 

1:17pm – Bottom 6^th – 3-0 Phillies Lead. Lots of smiles in Philadelphia. Jimenez should be evacuated from this game immediately. The wall in leftfield just tackled Carlos Gonzalez. I am downtrodden.

 

1:21pm – Bottom 6^th – 4-0 Phillies Lead. Ubaldo Jimenez is the picture of sadness right now. I feel like I am watching Step Mom. Denver cries with you, Ubaldo. Denver cries with you.

 

1:26pm – Mid 6^th – 5-0 Phillies Lead. I am officially dedicating this game to all of the poser Rockies fans who have ever used the term “Rocktober.”

 

If you happen to be one of those fans, go find another blog to read. This one’s not for you. Go on. Leave. Get out of here.

 

1:44pm – Mid 7^th – Another quick inning from the Rockies. Stuff like that helps me realize that this is a whole team effort. No one man can take full credit for this. Everybody can share equally here. Well done.

 

1:48pm – Bottom 7^th – Next pitcher, please. We’re 0-3 so far and can’t do any worse.

 

2:06pm – Bottom 8^th – Jason Marquis is in the game. I’m not sure what to think now. I guess we’re going with a three-man rotation in the series.

It smells of desperation. But who are we kidding? We’ve already got desperation written all over us and we’re only eight innings into this series.

 

2:15pm – End 8^th – Assuming we do lose this game (a good bet at this point), tomorrow is basically a must-win affair. That thought scares the hell out of me.

 

2:22pm – Top 9^th – The whole stadium is filled with happy people. It’s really a disgusting sight to witness. They’re like rabid dogs. Someone should come up with a vaccine for this.

 

2:24pm – Top 9^th – 5-1 Phillies Lead. And we’re on the board! Take that, Cliff Lee.

 

2:26pm – End 9^th (5-1 Loss) Thanks a lot Cleveland Indians for your role in today’s Colorado Rockies playoff loss. Your ineptitude as a franchise is officially contagious.

 

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Tune in tomorrow for more notes, thoughts and lamentations on the Rockies playoff hopes and dreams, minute by minute, loss by loss… maybe. I’m still saying Rockies in five, though I’m not saying it with much enthusiasm.

Tulowitzki blossoming into dominating force in Rockies lineup

Troy Tulowitzki may be the most underrated player on the most underrated baseball team in the world.

 

The Colorado Rockies, despite having the best record in baseball since June 4, are still considered a long shot to compete for a World Series title.

 

Tulowitzki, having helped lead his team to what will likely be its second playoff berth in three years, remains outside nearly every NL MVP discussion to be had.

 

As of now, any MVP conversation is surely dominated by higher profile players like Albert Pujols and Chase Utley. Both have put together remarkable seasons worthy of recognition and both the Cardinals and Phillies would be in much different situations without their star infielders.

 

But what goes often unnoticed is that Tulowitzki’s presence has had a similar impact on the Rockies.

 

Still only 24, Tulowitzki is considered a veteran on a talented young team dominated by players more likely to skirt praise than to bring it upon themselves. 

 

The shortstop’s defense has remained steadfast up the middle, providing support for the Rockies’ groundball inducing starting rotation.

 

And on the offensive side, Tulowitzki has quietly crept up in the lineup, now regularly hitting cleanup for the Rockies between left-handed bats Todd Helton and Brad Hawpe.

 

In many ways, the shortstop has helped ease the loss of departed leftfielder Matt Holliday, who was traded in the off-season. There was some concern entering the season that Colorado lacked an explosive right-handed bat capable of middle of the order production.

 

Such concerns have all but disappeared given Tulowitzki’s emergence as the team’s most dangerous power threat.

 

Much like the team in general, Tulowitzki’s season started slowly. On June 6, he was hitting just .216 with 5 homeruns and 16 RBIs. The start was a disappointment for the 24 year-old, a player who was expected to become a prominent contributor in the middle of the order.

 

Since the start of June, however, Tulowitzki has turned his season around completely, now leading the team in home runs, RBIs, OPS and runs scored.

 

In fact, among all starting shortstops in the majors this year Tulowitzki leads the league in homeruns while currently sitting comfortably among the top five in nearly every other significant offensive category.

 

On the season, Tulowitzki’s OPS sits just a few ticks below perennial offensive forces such as Alex Rodriguez and Matt Holliday and above sluggers like Ryan Howard and Lance Berkman.

 

And to put what Tulowitzki has done in the second half of the season in perspective, consider this fact: Since the all-star break, Tulowitzki has posted an OPS of 1.024, good enough for sixth place among all qualifying major leaguers, behind only Derek Lee, Holliday, Pujols, Joe Mauer and Adrian Gonzalez. (Rockies outfielder Carlos Gonzalez ranks eighth on that list.)

 

As cleanup hitters go, Tulowitzki has begun to define himself as one of the most feared bats in the league, ranking fourth overall in OPS hitting out of the four hole behind Lee, Kevin Youkilis and Prince Fielder throughout the season.

 

His 4.7 WAR (an advanced statistic that measures a player’s approximate win contribution over the course of the season) are more than double that of any other Rockies hitter not named Todd Helton.

 

You can look at the numbers any way you choose. It becomes almost impossible to find something to complain about. Tulowitzki’s late season contributions have been so significant that choosing an offensive MVP for the Rockies is simple. No one comes close to the shortstop’s level of production. 

 

Just as he did in 2007, Tulowitzki is providing the spark that has propelled the Rockies deep into the season.

 

Taking into consideration all of his attributes, as a leader, a defender and now a dangerous power hitter, the Rockies have a special player in Troy Tulowitzki.

 

He is the kind of player teams are built around.

 

Scratch that.

 

He is the kind of player playoff teams are built around.

Why The Colorado Rockies Have Been Better Without Matt Holliday

When Matt Holliday was traded this offseason, Colorado Rockies fans were not a happy bunch.

 

Fans and media members alike claimed the trade was proof that Rockies owners Charlie and Dick Monfront were not willing to make the necessary financial commitment to field a winning team.

 

Most people claimed that General Manager Dan O’Dowd would never reclaim the success he had with the Cleveland Indians in the late 1990’s. 

 

To put it simply, most fans thought that without Holliday the Rockies would suffer and it was management’s fault.

 

Now, sitting 3.5 games ahead of the rest of the field in the NL wild card race, it’s Colorado’s management team that is laughing its way to the playoffs.

 

So what in the world happened? Shouldn’t the team be floundering away in last place?

 

The short answer is yes. But that’s not how baseball works.

 

Instead, while no one was watching, the Holliday trade helped pave the way for the Colorado Rockies to make the playoffs. Without the trade, if the team had not driven its single best player from the team, the Rockies would not be anywhere close to where they are now. It is as simple as that.

 

This year, splitting time between two teams, Holliday has hit .314/.393/.528 with 23 home runs and 99 RBI. It’s been a good season for the left fielder, but probably less than Billy Beane expected when he traded for one of the premier bats in the game.

 

In his place, the Rockies have primarily platooned Seth Smith, a 26 year old lefty who barely had 100 at bats coming into the season, and Carlos Gonzalez, a 23 year old former top prospect considered to be the centerpiece of the Holliday trade.

 

Together, the two have combined to hit .298/.377/.531 with 26 home runs and 76 RBI. They have combined for three more stolen bases than Holliday (with three fewer failed attempts) and have played markedly better defense in the outfield.

 

According to WPA (an advanced statistic that attempts to gauge the number of wins each individual player is worth to his team), the two have combined for 2.01 wins. Holliday has been worth about one win more between his two teams.

 

Though it would be difficult to prove that Smith and Gonzalez have completely replaced Holliday’s production in Colorado’s lineup, it is clear that the two have done an admirable job smoothing over the loss.

 

To review the Holliday trade, the Rockies picked up three major league ready pieces in Gonzalez, closer Huston Street and injured starter Greg Smith. While Smith hasn’t yet pitched for the team, Street immediately took over as the team’s closer, quickly establishing himself as one of the premier relievers in the National League.

 

This season, Street has been worth nearly three full wins to Colorado, a remarkable number for a relief pitcher. Even more impressive, he has completely covered for the lack of Brian Fuentes in the bullpen, going 33 for 34 in save attempts while carrying an ERA under 3.00.

 

The trade may have been a risk, but it was a calculated risk. With Holliday still in the lineup, the Rockies may have still made a playoff push, but the team would have had to do so without the likes of Street and Gonzalez, not to mention a reduced role for Smith.

 

Erasing the Holliday trade would effectively remove three of Colorado’s primary playoff producers, clearly a high cost for the soon-to-be free agent.

 

Not even counting the contributions of Seth Smith, the trade has been technically worth about a half a win in the standings this season alone. This doesn’t even take into account the fact that the Rockies still control Street through next season and Gonzalez for the next five.

 

Assuming Carlos Gonzalez picks up more at bats next season and Street continues at the same pace, it’s not hard to imagine that the Rockies will pick up another five total wins in 2010 as a result of the offseason trade.

 

Then, count up four more years of Gonzalez in his prime and even a rough estimate would result in ten wins over that time, making the trade worth a net gain of 15.5 wins over the long term, assuming Greg Smith never throws another pitch in the majors.

 

To put in perspective, 15.5 wins is the rough equivalent of two seasons of Albert Pujols type production.

 

To break it down simply, the Rockies traded one year of Matt Holliday for two years of Huston Street and six of Carlos Gonzalez, and further, did so with a productive outfielder in Seth Smith waiting in the wings.

 

Knowing what you know now, would you make the same trade again?

 

You can make a good bet that O’Dowd would. 

Franklin Morales Bringing Heat, Providing Late Inning Boost For Rockies

Frankie says relax.

 

When Huston Street went down with a right biceps injury last week, things looked bleak for the Colorado Rockies bullpen. That was before Franklin Morales stepped in to provide the Rockies with a 97 mph backup plan.

 

In 2007, Franklin Morales coupled with Ubaldo Jimenez and single-handedly gave the fledgling Colorado Rockies the pitching spark the team needed to make a serious playoff run.

 

This year, with Jimenez emerging as one of the best young pitchers in the league, Morales has also reappeared for the Rockies. Stability

 

The 23 year old has spent the last two months racking up dominant innings in relief, whipping out 97 mph fastballs from the left side of the mount and confounding hitters at every turn.

 

Since being called up from AAA-Colorado Springs in early July, Morales has put together an ERA of 2.77. A respectable but not overwhelming statistic, the number is colored by two games in August when the lefty gave up two and three runs respectively.

 

Outside of those two outings, Morales has given up only two earned runs since his call-up and has maintained his status as one of the unsung heroes of Colorado’s pen.

 

The bullpen, at one point in the season the biggest knock on the Rockies playoff chances, has surfaced as one of the team’s strong points. General manager Dan O’Dowd bolstered the unit by trading for veterans Rafael Betancourt and Joe Beimel before the trade deadline, moves that solidified the seventh and eight innings.

 

But neither pitcher was chosen as the team’s closer when Street couldn’t pitch last week. It was Morales who got the call, not surprising considering the fact that he has finally began putting the finishing touches on his dangerous repertoir.

 

Last season, Morales pitched horribly for Colorado. He opened the season with the Rockies, but managed only a 6.40 ERA in five starts with the team, walking more than six batters per nine innings and only striking out 9 total hitters.

 

Morales’ poor play last season was a blow to the Rockies, who were relying on the fireballing lefty to take a step forward and fill in one of the later spots in the rotation.

 

After his first five starts, he didn’t see major league action until April of 2009 and only then for a couple of appearances.

 

Now, Morales appears to be here to stay. Whether he moves into the rotation next season or stays in the bullpen where he’s had so much success will be up to Rockies management.

 

For the next couple of months, however, he knows his place – coming in to face tough lefty outs for the playoff push and tossing 97 mph bullets down the center of the plate.

 

Says Manager Jim Tracy, “If it's 97 and thrown in a good place, it's hard to hit. It gets on you in a hurry.”

 

When Morales comes into the game, Frankie says relax.

 

Try telling that to opposing hitters.

 

 

Reflections on a Tragedy: A Rockies Fan Commits the Greatest Sin of All

I left early. I admit it. I am not going to make excuses for myself. In fact I won’t even tell you why I left early, because it doesn’t matter. What matters is that it happened and now I have to deal with the consequences.

 

Two days later, I am still in a state of grief, and I am not positive this feeling is going away any time soon.

 

I was at the Rockies-Giants finale, the game in which Ryan Spilborghs hit his walk-off grand slam, ran around the bases like he just won the Little League World Series, then jumped into a heaving pile of purple and black.

 

I was there.

 

It was one of the most exciting games in franchise history and I saw every out of the game, every last one; but I didn’t see the home run. I left early.

This is my story. This is my apology.

 

What follows is a minute-by-minute account of my experience. Here’s the cast of major players:

Tyler – Me, Die hard Rockies fan (currently in mourning)

Bria – My fearless companion during the game

Corey – My best friend who added a running text commentary throughout the game

Troy Tulowitzki – Rockies starting shortstop (plays both hero and villain in this story)

Carlos Gonzalez – Rockies outfielder unable to swing a bat due to hand laceration.

Adam Eaton – Converted relief pitcher, unable to get major league hitters out.

Ryan Spilborghs – Lovable reserve outfielder with a little pop in his bat

Brian Wilson – Entirely unhittable

 

7:18pm - We are two innings late to the game. I am going with a friend who had to work late and she is doing me a favor by taking me to the airport tomorrow morning. I don’t go to games two innings late. It’s not my style. I’m doing it for her.

 

We scalp tickets for $4 a piece, third deck behind the plate.

 

Side note: these are great seats. I highly recommend them to anyone who wants to see a game but needs to stay on a budget.

 

8:05pm – It’s the bottom of the fifth inning and the Rockies have just tied the game at one a piece. Todd Helton (being Todd Helton) has just cashed in on a bases loaded walk with two outs.

 

Troy Tulowitzki is up to bat and all he needs is a base knock to blow the game open. Instead, he hits a lazy fly to right field, leaving the game knotted in a 1-1 tie. My friend Corey knows how much I love Tulo and he takes the opportunity to dig me one.

 

8:06pm – Text from Corey – Wow. Great hit Tulo. Well done. Hope you’re cheering for your favorite athlete.

 

9:33pm – After escaping a frightening bottom of the ninth that began with a lead off double from Ryan Garko, the Rockies are 90 feet away from winning the game.

 

Clint Barmes is at the plate with Ian Stewart standing at third. Giants closer Brian Wilson is pitching. (Just so you know, Brian Wilson is going to be pitching for a while tonight.)

 

Barmes, totally and completely overpowered by the former Beach Boy, strikes out on four pitches and looks silly doing it.

 

9:36pm – Text to Corey – Barmes drives me crazy. I can’t deal. He didn’t take one pitch. What the f*ck?

 

9:38pm – Text from Corey – Whiffing on a 98 mph fastball seems excusable. And those sliders Wilson was throwing were as fast as most pitchers’ fastballs. Nasty stuff. Still Tulo’s fault…

 

9:41pm – In the top of the tenth, with Huston Street on the mound, Tulo makes an incredible diving stop up the middle to rob Randy Winn of a hit. He hops to his feet and tosses a bullet to Helton at first. It is literally one of the best plays I have ever seen in person (or at least that’s how I remember it).

 

9:42pm – Text from Corey – Wow. Ok. Tulo’s making an attempt at redemption. Well done him.

 

9:44pm – I tell Bria that there’s no way Tulo doesn’t pick up a big hit the next inning. I tell her that after the catch he just made, he’ll be operating on a simply ridiculous level of confidence and he will own Brian Wilson.

 

9:50 – Tulowitzki steps to the plate with Carlos Gonzalez at second and none out. I am giddy with excitement. His first swing is a cut I can feel from the third deck. He’s going to pop one and I can feel it. We have the game won.

 

Tulowitzki takes the next pitch to right field, a crisp arcing line drive that I know immediately will win the game. Gonzalez, rounding third, stops dead, not risking getting thrown out and heads back to third base.

 

Tulowitzki, operating on a simply ridiculous level of confidence, overruns first base and faces home, expecting to watch Gonzalez win the game for him. Instead Tulo realizes his mistake too late and gets picked off the bag.

 

Now, instead of having runners at first and third with no out, we have a runner at third with one out. I am stunned; I am angry; and as far as I am concerned, Tulo just lost us the game.

 

9:51pm – Text from Corey – So much for redemption. F*cking idiot.

 

9:52pm – Text to Corey – I’m a little bit in shock. My god. It’s his f*cking job.

 

9:55pm – Ryan Spilborghs comes to the plate after Wilson intentionally walks Brad Hawpe. Spilly hits into an easy double play to end the threat. Tulo and I are not getting along right now.

I can’t believe this game is not over.

 

10:02 – In what turns out to be one of the most bizarre half innings in the game, Bengie Molina hits a single and is replaced at first by Tim Lincecum as a pinch runner. Nate Schierholtz pops out to left before the pitcher’s spot is due.

 

Now, despite having already thrown an inning and two thirds, Bruce Bochy sends out Wilson to hit for himself. This is Wilson’s first at bat of the year. To recap, the Giants now have their closer up to bat and their ace pinch running at first.

 

Wilson somehow gets the bunt down, but Rockies catcher Yorvit Torrealba pounces on it and starts the double play from second to first. The Giants closer has just bunted into an inning ending double play in the 11^th inning.

 

10:03pm – Text to Corey – Silly game. This game is just silly.

 

10:07pm – Brian Wilson continues carving up the Rockies lineup. Who knew this guy was such a powerhouse? Wow. This guy is dangerous.

 

10:09pm – Text from Corey – Wilson just threw two 99mph fastballs in a row and he’s at 30ish pitches. Scary.

 

10:14pm – The inning ends and we head to the top of the twelfth pitching the immortal Matt Daley. Things don’t look good. 

 

10:15pm – Text to Corey – I can’t take the stress right now. I’m pulling my hair out. I can’t believe Tulo did that.

 

10:24pm – Carlos Gonzalez steps to the plate. Two days ago he stabbed himself in the palm with a steak knife. He can’t swing a bat. We are now sending guys to the plate who literally cannot swing.

 

This seems like the baseball equivalent of being at the bar at two o’clock in the morning with the goal of picking up women and realizing you are too drunk to see. You give up on the original plan and just start drinking more.

 

Rockies manager Jim Tracy is black out drunk at this point and we’re watching just to see what stupid thing he tries next. Simply hilarious.

 

Bria and I have a good chuckle in the stands about how ridiculous this whole situation is.

 

10:30pm – I get a text from my dad who must be watching the game. It’s far past his bedtime.  

 

10:31pm – Text from Dad – Will this ever be over?

 

10:32pm – Text to Dad – I don’t honestly know. This game is silly.

 

10:34pm – Omar Quintanilla, hitting .167 on the season, comes in to pinch hit with two out in the twelfth. He swings at two balls in the dirt and stares at one down the middle. I can’t exaggerate how ugly the at bat is.

 

10:34pm – Text from Corey – That at bat was just cute. Did they raffle off a free at bat to random fan earlier in the game?

 

10:34 – Adam Eaton emerges from the bullpen. Besides Josh Fogg, who is scheduled to pitch Wednesday, Eaton is the last guy we have. The aging right-hander was only recently promoted to the majors and was expected to serve in mop-up duty only.

 

10:35pm – Text to Corey – You know if our new pitcher gets injured, we’re probably throwing Tulo… There’s no one else. This game is silly. 

 

10:39pm – Eaton sends a pitch bouncing past Torrealba’s right side, allowing the runner to advance to second. The play eventually leads to two on and none out.

 

10:40pm – Text from Corey – On the replay, that was Torrealba’s fault. Eaton got the signal wrong, but it was catchable. Just want to make sure you’re directing your rage in the right places.

 

10:42 – Upon getting this text message, I realize that Eaton and Torrealba literally don’t know the signs. They haven’t worked together enough. This is awful. At this point, I am nearly positive we can’t win the game.

 

I only have one phrase running through my mind at this point. “I just tip my hat and call the Giants my daddy.” Then I start thinking about how if we had signed Pedro Martinez two months ago, I would have no doubts at all we would win this game.

 

For whatever reason, I think Pedro would single handedly deliver this game for us. He’s a bulldog, and now without Street, Wilson, Sandoval or Helton in the game, their aren’t any bulldogs left to play. We’re stuck watching the retrievers and the spaniels battle it out.

 

10:45pm – With two outs in the top of the 13^th and two on base, Adam Eaton throws a third strike to Schierholtz. The pitch is called a ball.

 

10:45pm – Text from Corey – Not a strike. Stay calm.

 

10:50pm – Relief pitcher Brandon Medders hits a searing line drive to third baseman Ian Stewart to end the inning. I curl up in my seat lying in the fetal position. I’m struggling just to make it through right now.

 

10:52pm – My dad, ever the loving guy, checks in on my fearless companion.

 

10:55pm – Text from Dad – How is Bria doing?

 

10:56pm – Text to Dad – Amazingly well. I’m very impressed.

 

11:00pm – In an inning in which we need to score, we look awful at the plate. The inning culminates in a swinging strikeout from Garrett Atkins. The ball he swings for is 48 inches off the plate and bounces twice.

 

11:01 – Text to Corey – I think Atkins is throwing the game.

 

11:02 – Text from Corey – Atkins? You mean Eaton?

 

11:04 – Text to Corey – He’s not good enough to throw it. No one thought he’d ever pitch an important out…

 

11:05pm – Text from Corey - This game is like the South Park episode about little league where all the teams try to lose so they don’t have to make the playoffs and prolong their season.

 

11:05 – I turn to Bria. “You know what’s sad,” I say. “We just spent the last four hours watching this game and now we’re going to have to sit here and watch Adam Eaton screw it up in the fourteenth inning. There is no way he is getting out of here alive. You can see how scared he is from here.”

 

She nods in agreement. At this point, she has stopped responding to me. I have been going through a slew of dramatic and sometimes ugly emotions. She is a little ashamed to be sitting next to me.

 

She also only pretends to like baseball. She will deny this, but I know it’s true. As far as I’m concerned, it just means she is a good friend. Sitting through this much baseball when you don’t even enjoy the sport is an admirable feat. I should send her a gift.

 

11:06pm – Edgar Renteria ropes a triple into the right field corner. I see the flight of the ball and close my eyes, my head in my hands. I look up at Bria a few moments later. “That was a triple, wasn’t it?” She nods sadly.

 

11:08pm – Eugenio Velez triples to left field, scoring two and breaking the game open. I am oddly calm, at least outwardly.

 

11:09 – Text from Corey – Feel free to start walking to your car. Please don’t kick any small children on the way out.

 

11:11 – The Rockies are down 4-1 and haven’s scored in eight innings. We don’t have a chance at winning this game, but I have every intention of showing my support and sticking it out.

 

As an added bonus, Carlos Gonzalez is coming up and we both want to see him make the last out of the game by bunting to the pitcher. The comedic possibilities here are just too good to pass up.

 

11:12 – Text to Corey - We’re staying to watch Gonz bunt with two outs in the bottom of the fourteenth. I feel it’s our duty.

 

11:16 – Text from Corey – Rockies due up = 0-11. They’re bound for a hit, right? I mean, it’s statistically inevitable.

 

11:16 – I laugh at this text and ignore the blaring red siren going off in the back corner of my brain.

 

11:17 – Dexter Fowler fouls a ball off his kneecap and collapses to the ground for four minutes, not moving. He finally gets up but has a hefty limp. He takes a walk and heads to first because there are no other options off the bench.

 

11:21 – Text from Corey – One of the announcers just said 99% of Fowler’s game is his legs, so this isn’t good… Apparently arms are no longer required to play baseball, so that’s new.

 

11:22 – I’m glad that someone can still make jokes at a time like this. I am beginning to feel sick to my stomach.

 

11:26 – Text from Corey – Just mentioned pinch running Fogg for Fowler. Amazing.

 

11:30 – Justin Miller comes in to replace Brandon Medders.

 

11:31 – Text from Corey – Miller has 195 appearances and 0 saves. You might be a part of history.

 

11:32 – As Miller warms up, Bria and I leave the stadium. (I won’t tell you why because real men don’t make excuses.)

 

I notice that no one else is leaving the stadium despite the outlook of success being just shy of impossible. As we walk down the concourse steps, I mention this to her. She says, “Maybe we should stay.” We don’t.

 

11:32 – 11:38 – We leisurely walk to the car, not even hesitating when we hear cheering coming from the stadium. This will be the last few blissful moments of my evening. I don’t treasure them the way I should. Tragedy comes when you least expect it.

 

11:38 – We get in the car and turn on the radio. Inexplicably, the bases are loaded. Ryan Spilborghs is up to bat with facing an 0-1 count.

 

I turn oh-so-slowly to look at Bria in the driver’s seat. Without any words, she sees what I am saying. “This. Is. Not. Happening.”

 

I hear the crack of the bat and Jeff Kingery literally starts screaming over the radio speakers. Spilborghs hits a walk off grand slam to win the game. When I try to think back on this moment, I’m pretty sure I blacked out. 

 

11:38pm and a half – I am hyperventilating, punching myself in the face and crying at the same time. I am screaming in agony. I think this is the fourth rung of hell. This is perhaps the single most heart breaking moment in any sports fan’s life and I am in the thick of it.

 

I don’t know how I didn’t jump out of the car and run directly into oncoming traffic. In retrospect, I feel like that would have been an understandable, justifiable response.

 

11:39pm – Text from Davis – Tell me you’re still there!

 

11:42pm – Text from Davis - Dude… dude. You heard on the radio right? Dude!

 

11:43pm – Text from Joe – Are you f*cking kidding me!?!

 

11:43pm – Text from Corey – You’re joking.

 

11:44pm – Text to Corey, Davis, Dad and others – I left four batters ago.

 

Note: I didn’t have the heart to write anything else. I just stared at my cell phone trying to put into words what was happening and I didn’t know what to say. I felt like a child, incapable of complex thought.

 

11:46 – Corey – HAHAHAHA wow. Oh my god. You just made my night/week. Man. Your life sucks.

 

11:47 – Text to Corey – Can you imagine what I’m going through?

 

11:49 – Before waiting for a response, I call Corey. I am distraught right now. “Tell me how this is okay,” I plead with him. “I don’t get it. I don’t know how this happened.” Corey just laughs at me. It’s all he did.

 

There are tears running down my face and my voice is all high and whiny. Corey is laughing at me from the other end of the phone and Bria is laughing at me from the driver’s seat. I am experiencing what I imagine to be an out of body experience.

 

For the next ten minutes on the drive home, Bria tries to distract me by talking about other things. My responses are either completely nonexistent or terse and angry. I am incapable of conversation at this point and she’s beginning to become seriously concerned.

 

11:55pm – Corey listens to the post game interview with Rockies manager Jim Tracy. Corey seems to be quite entertained.

 

11:57pm – Text from Corey – God, Tracy is a real great guy. He’s just amazing. I want great things for him after watching this interview.

 

11:59pm – Text from Corey – He explained he refuses to say the words “wild card” because he’s set on the division. What a man. He says they’re 4 games up “in those other” standings.

 

12:05am – I think that my night cannot get any worse. I feel like I have experienced the worst of it, that I have weathered the storm. Then, Corey, like any friend should in a situation like this, puts the final nail in the coffin.

 

12:06am – Text from Corey – Spilborghs just said the best part was that it was almost midnight and 20,000 fans stuck around to show support despite trailing 3 runs. He teared up as he said it.

 

12:07am – Looking at this text, I have a sinking feeling in my stomach. I feel physically ill. This may be the most heartbreaking text I have ever received in my life.

 

12:09am – Text to Corey – Why would you say something like that? I’m broken right now.

 

2:58am – After finishing a bottle of wine, I prepare myself for the worst and flip the television over to ESPN. I need to see Spilborghs’ shot.

 

Within two minutes, the guys at Sports Center play the clip. I see Spilborghs flying around the bases. I see the uncontained smile on his face. I see the team jumping up and down together. I see the fans going berserk in the stands.

 

I am utterly crushed, probably the only Rockies fan in the world who can’t bear to watch this video.

 

3:01am – Tyler – I just saw it. I might need to talk to someone. For real.

 

3:07am – Corey – HAHAHAHAHA that’s all I have to say. I’m expecting your best article ever as you reflect on this experience. No joke.

 

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